I should have learned more about computers. Beyond how to manage word documents and organize files and load software. I should have learned programming-related stuff and, even more prominently, web design. I am more than capable of learning web design in the future, but from what I’ve heard it takes a little more effort than just playing around until you figure stuff out. That makes me wish I already knew it.

I should have made sure I spent more time connecting with people and having a real social life than I did sitting in my room by myself, even if I enjoyed a fair amount of my alone time.

I should have gotten into the habit of exercising while I had free access to a gym (well, after paying many thousands of dollars for college).

I should have spent the past four years working on a novel or two, honing and trimming until I had something I was willing to send out to publishers, writing contests, anthologies upon graduation, to kick-start my life as a writer.

I’m sure that in my life I should have done a lot of things. Now here’s the point: it doesn’t matter what I should have done in the past. It’s good to recognize your mistakes, how you could have better spent your time, etc, but then let them go and move on to the next thing. It’s not about not having regrets, but not letting them hound you and block you. You can regret all you want, but when you start to blame those regrets, you’re going to have a problem. Just move on. A lot of them can probably be fixed, so go forward and give that a try. Do not fantasize about and dwell in the past more than you think about how you can make your life better right now. Trust me; I’ve spent a lot of time doing just that, and it helps nothing. It causes/adds to depression. I know that I need to focus on the present.

Things are not going the way I want them to be. This is my resolution (about a month delay on new year’s. I made new year’s resolutions but they aren’t like this): I will change my life.


~ by plaidlylush on January 22, 2010.

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