Is Sitting On a Pillow

This week has been quiet, not unproductive, but perhaps less productive than it should have been. I only went into the city twice, neither time resulting in a wealth of stores that were hiring. However, I’ve submitted more applications/cover letters this week than most other weeks already, so that’s a happy thing. Happier if I were, in fact, hired, but knowing that I’m being (pro)active in my job search makes it a little better. I’m putting in the effort. It only gets significantly discouraging that no one replies once in a while.

(Of course, this dearth of an essential aspect of life is why I could really use a social life right now, but at least I have cats.)

On the other hand, I got going on the second story in my collection – the third, actually, but it’s the second in terms of editing order. And I started the introduction. With any luck (or, rather, with any effort) I will work on that some more today. I would love to have that done – it would be too much to expect to finish it tonight, but by the end of next week, sure. That’s completely doable.

I’ve read so much about people “taking advantage” of all their free time to do personal projects, especially writing. For me, it feels like I’m using time that should be dedicated to finding a job to do something that is not essential. Even though I know that writing does wonders for my own mental health, and I know that spending all of my time job searching just is not possible, I cannot help it. I don’t have it in me to be a deadbeat artist, as much as I like to joke about it. I need a job to feel like I’m doing life right.


And a news update: my mom is visiting me! She’ll be arriving tomorrow, and she’s leaving on Tuesday. It has now been about two weeks under two months. It is, I’m certain, the longest I have gone without seeing her without the distraction of classes or work to take up the time in between. I am still convinced that separating from your parents is something that happens naturally at some point in your life, but I miss them. Unfortunately I think it will be much longer before I see my dad.

I won’t dwell on that. This weekend my mom will be here, and we’ll have fun and not think so much about needing a job or being a total failure at life. We can explore cool areas and talk about writing, instead.


~ by plaidlylush on November 13, 2009.

One Response to “Is Sitting On a Pillow”

  1. It’s always darkest just before dawn.

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