Try Again Later

The 9th was Sonia’s birthday. We had a celebration yesterday evening for 23 years. (Please, unravel that sentence. I dare you.) We went out to a tasty, if salty, Italian restaurant, then came home to Quantum of Solace and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

To be completely honest I would prefer if it had been my birthday. It’s not that I begrudge my friends their birthdays, but I would really like to be made to feel special for managing to emerge from my mother on a certain day. It might have made up for the crappiness of last weekend and last Tuesday. Still, it was a very pleasant evening last night.

Tomorrow I will be attempting San Francisco again. This time, it will be in the context of a tour from Sonia’s dad. From what I’ve heard, it’s fun and it will help me to orient myself in the city. I’m biased against the place at the moment, but with any luck I will actually have a good day tomorrow and I can move on from my horrible first experiences.

I can’t help wondering if I created some of the badness in my San Francisco experiences. I would never assume that the responsibility was entirely mine, as the circumstances have been far less than ideal in all situations. It will have been completely unconscious. Maybe, in my own innate resistance to change (we all have that. If you think you don’t, you might want to reexamine yourself just to make sure), I unconsciously put myself in situations that did not allow me to take a liking to my new (soon, anyway) home city. If I did, it would mean letting go of all I left behind. While that is sort of necessary in a move like this, there are a lot of things I love back there. Things I wish I could have brought with me.

Part of life is letting go of things that were once so important to us. It’s all involved in the cycle of life and death.

I hate that part.


~ by plaidlylush on October 10, 2009.

One Response to “Try Again Later”

  1. You can celebrate EVERY DAY YOU ARE ALIVE!!! as celebration of managing to emerge from MOM.

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